Best and Worst

Hi Sidra,

There are many reasons why I love you but I just wanted to tell you about couple things that really made me glad I was your dad. And one that will not be such a fond memory.

A couple of days ago I was making beds upstairs and your mom suggested to you that you could go upstairs and 'help' me. Quotations are there because help from a not yet three year old is elusive at best. So you did well when I asked you to bring me things from the laundry basket into the bedroom. Later, when I was trying to flap the top sheet so it would fall straight on the bed you decided it would be fun to climb on the bed and get under the flapping sheet. Which made it impossible to get the sheet on straight. I asked you to get out of the way but you were having too good a time to come out from under there. So, I chose to leave the room and go work on your bed instead. You wanted to participate in that event, too. But you weren't really a distraction there and I got that job done. I then tried again to finish our bed but you had the same idea of fun under the sheet. I thought of some way that I could continue with my chores and not waste any more time waiting for you to let me finish the bed, so I left the room again. I was in my room a few minutes later and you came in and said "I'm sorry."
That made a big impression on me for a couple of reasons. First, it showed that you were empathetic to others needs or interests. I loved that. Second, it showed you understood unspoken messages. That was really cool!
On the other hand, you are sleeping off an unpleasant meltdown from earlier in the afternoon. We were out in the neighborhood as it is an unseasonably nice day. I was carrying your sister in the 'baby bjorn.' You were riding your bike. You wanted to go down to where we've picked blackberries before. I warned you that it was a long way and that there wasn't going to be any edible berries there now like there were in the summer. After we turned around to come home you wanted me to carry the bike home while you walked. Nothing doing, I said. We'd had discussions about this in the summer and I always said if you ride your bike somewhere, you had to ride it home, too. Anyway, we disagreed but you walked away from your bike leaving me to carry it home and your sister, too. I held your hand and you wailed all the way home. I guess part of it is that you need to realize that you're becoming a big girl and may need to forgo some 'mommying' or 'daddying' and stand on your own two feet at times.

So that I don't finish on a negative note here's something else you did that 'blew me away' to use your uncle Ben's phrase. We had the TV on and were watching womens figure skating. We were urging you to watch how good the skaters were. You said 'when I'm her age I want to do that.' I liked that on two fronts. One that you were inspired to try to do these amazing things on skates and secondly that you were able to articulate your wish.

Love, aba

Sisterhood

Hi Sidra,

Your little sister is home now. You met her yesterday. I took you to the hospital with me when I went to bring Shira and your mom home. You ran over to see her as soon as you saw us coming and sort of ignored your mom, who you hadn't seen in a few days. You've been doing pretty good for the day that you've been an official big sister. You are like Curious George, always willing to help out even if you aren't asked and sometimes get a little too exuberant.

If you do the things that you have talked about doing in the future Shira will be very lucky to have you as her big sister. You've said that you will hold her hand, help change her diaper, share your toys, give her a binky when she needs it, hold her and some other things. Some of the things you want to do for her are a ways down the road but that's okay. As long as you keep your word. I was just interupted in writing this because I was helping you get the binky for Shira. You were pretty good in being gentle with her.

You also are developing into a relentless child consumer. There was a Toy's R US insert in the Sunday paper, I think. Anyway, you got a hold of it and began checking out the toys, followed obsessing about a Barbie veterinarian kit. It would help you sort of reenact an event that occurs in a Curious George story. You believe that you can get it for one of the upcoming holidays but don't seem willing to wait. It's quite amazing the story you can tell about what you can do with these toys.

I'm sure there will be more soon.

Love, aba

You're a Big Sister.

Hi Sidra,

you became a big sister today as your little sister Shira was born. You didn't get to see her yet, except in pictures and videos I brought home. You spent the day with Nancypants and your cousin Rachel and aunt Deb Cohen. When I finally got home you were in pretty good spirits and well fed. We sat down and watched a video of your mom nursing baby Shira and she told you she missed you and that you should get to bed early so you could get up to go to school tomorrow.
The hospital won't allow you to come to visit your mom and sister because of precautions related to the swine flu. You are asleep now, but we expect that you will be up and come into bed with me sometime during the night. We know that in your drowsiness you will ask for your mommy and she won't be there. That's why I came home to spend the night with you instead of Tante Debbie. So that one of your parents will be here.
I was pleased with your interest in the pictures of your mom and sister. I think you have some big adjustments ahead but you are going to be a good sister and I'm already proud of you because of it. Of course, when the family is all home things may be different than I expect.

Love,
aba

Happy Halloween

Hi Sidra,

You got a little more serious about Halloween this year. You had a cool ladybug costume that your mom bought you and you anticipated the event for quite a while. In fact, you had a streak of several days in a row where you asked me if I would dress up like a cheerleader to go trick or treat with you. That was because I had played the part of a cheerleader in my schools annual lip synching contest. I had to tell you several times that I couldn't because I had to return the costume. I suggested that I could probably dress as a rock star with some of the things I had left from the year before. So then your question became 'will you be a star?' It's hard to turn that request down so that's what you see in the pictures. We're even getting the thumbs up from uncle Aaron.
You've been challenging us lately by being pretty stubborn. You don't really want to comply with our requests so you sort of act like you aren't hearing us or even say outright that you don't want to do something. We are working letting you know what our limits are. One clever way you have learned to negotiate is with the phrase, 'but not right now.' Unfortunately for you sometimes we have to counter that with a 'yes, right now.'
I am interested to know what I'm going to write about you in the next post because your little sister is going to be born tomorrow and your life will change a lot. We believe you will be a good big sister eventually, but are expecting some rough spots for you in the coming weeks. I hope it's not too rough. I expect you and I are going to spend a lot of time together in the near future because neither one of us will be able to feed your sister for a while, only your mom will be able to and you and I are going to need to give your mom and your sister some space to do that.

more soon,

love, aba