Your Big Day!

Wow,
today's the day! You are going to be emerging from your mother today. We are all very excited to see you. We were at the doctor yesterday, and you seem ready to come out. We saw your face a little bit on the ultrasound. Just as cute as your brother.
By the way, we are going to call you Sidra Leah Cohen-Mallon. Which makes me wonder if we should change the name of the blog, but we will worry about that later.
So, big changes today. Until now, you've been pretty easy to take care of. Now it will be a different story. You will require more of our attention. But we're looking forward to it.
See you on the other side......
love, aba

Aunt Deb

Hey girl,
you are due to enter our world tomorrow. Also, an important member of our family just arrived yesterday. It's your mom's Aunt Deb Goodman.
She is quite possibly the nicest, most compassionate person I've ever met. Her presence here is bringing your mom great comfort in this stressful time. She is also a fantastic cook, so we're going to be well fed while she's here. She came in from the east coast, Boston. Some other relatives of ours from the east will be here for your naming ceremony at schul in a couple weeks. Your mom's brothers Ben and David, along with David's family. Your mom's brother Aaron and his family live nearby, and will probably see you soon, too.
love, aba

Grand Canyon

Hi kid,
Today I am going to tell you about something that we will do together as soon as you are old enough. We are going to visit the Grand Canyon. It is a natural wonder in the southwest United States that everyone should see. I've been there a couple of times, but neither time was it very statisfying. Now I know why. Your mom and I were talking to a friend of hers at the store and the subject of the Grand Canyon came up, and she told about hiking through the canyon. She did it all in one day. I'm thinking about a family backpacking trip that might last about 4 days. I am very excited about it. The reason for hiking down to the bottom and then out the other side is to really experience the wonder of the place while getting away from the tourist traps around the rims on both sides.
I'm sure this will be a difficult trip, but will be adventurous and fun, too.
I can't wait!
Love, Aba

Parker

Hey kid,
tonight I want to tell you about Parker. He's the family dog, and I doubt he will be around long enough for you to be able to remember him. He's about 12 years old right now and showing his age. He's been having trouble getting around as well as he used to partly because of arthritis and partly because of getting a little weaker with age. We've had him since he was about 8, so he's been our companion for about 4 years now.
He's the best dog. Since we've had him, he's barked maybe 3 or 4 times. He's just so mellow and well tempered, you can't help but love him. In his younger days he was a champion (in our eyes) ball fetcher. He was tireless as a player. We could kick the Kong and throw balls to him endlessly. He loved to swim. But, he would walk next to you loyally when you wanted to just walk with him. He's very social, too. At least with people. He doesn't really like to play with other dogs, but hates to be left alone. He loves to be included in any family activity. He's been spending the days at work with your mother pretty much since we've had him. He lays under her desk and is always there to keep her company. He's been everywhere with her. He's been her 24/7 companion since she brought him home in the fall of 2002.
Now, we help him get up and down the stairs, and help him get up sometimes. He also has been unable to control his bowels for a while, so we have to be ready to clean up his poop in the house. But, we don't mind because we love him, and he loves us back. We also think about how it is sort of helping us be ready to deal with changing your diapers soon. While he is slowing phisically, his mental accuity hasn't dropped. He still knows when someone opens a banana or an orange that he might get a bite of.
In the first picture here, he is looking stately in his bow tie at our wedding. The day before the wedding we had dinner at my parents house in Hood River. The kids there were throwing him the ball a lot and he really got worn out. So the day of the wedding he was content to be pretty mellow and just sit in the middle of the procedings without wanting to play. The other picture just shows his pretty face.
As I said, I don't know if you will ever really get to know Parker, but we might have another family dog while you are growing up. And if we do, we will always compare him or her to our beloved Parker.

sleep tight,
love aba

Competition

Hi sweetie,
Tonight I want to tell you a little bit about your mom and I. First, I guess I should say something about how we met. We were introduced by a mutual friend, Donna Frankel. I had met Donna online and we had dated a little bit. Donna told me that there would be no future for us because I wasn't Jewish. This frustrated me because she waited a while before telling me this. But, we continued to see each other occasionally on a friendly basis. Donna mentioned that she knew someone like me who was "driven," and said we should meet. So, the next time I saw Donna, who is a pretty high maintainence person, I said when do I get to meet this friend of yours?
Well, your mom didn't want to meet me right then. Donna hadn't told me but I learned later that your mom was sort of halfway broken up with a guy who was bad news for her. She was also recovering from a car accident and wasn't ready. Later your mom gave Donna the OK to give me her email address and phone number. So we traded chit chatty emails every now and then and traded pictures that way. Finally, we set a date to meet at a restaurant. It's funny to think back about it now, because your mom came to the restaurant from a yoga class and had on gym type pants. I say it's funny because she was dressed that way when we met, and now she hounds me because I like to wear what she call 'tights' all the time and she wants me to change when we go out in public. Anyway, we had a nice time and found lots of things in common to talk about. She was prettier than the one picture I had seen of her up to that point. I was taken by her dark beauty and trim figure.
The next time we saw each other, we met for a bike ride, meeting at your mom's work. I had gotten pulled over for speeding on the way there, and had to call her while the cop was in his car and tell her I might be late. We rode bikes around Sandy, ending up at the house she had just bought, which is where we live now. I think your mom thought she would out ride me, have to wait for me, etc. She had been a really good mountain bike champion in the past. But, I am pretty strong and had been riding more than she in recent years, so she said later that I impressed her with my riding. I was happy to have met someone who could ride with me. I know why I love riding, but it's hard to convince someone who doesn't do it why it's so compelling. Probably the key thing about that 'date' was how we parted. I think we shook hands, but I took her forearm in my hand and squeezed it a little. She knew what that meant, and says she thought "Oh, no. This guy wants to be serious." At the time she says she wasn't ready to go down that road, but fortunately, I wore her down and eventually married her.

Well, I made the title competition, so I better say something about that. Your mom and I are both pretty competitive so I think you might turn out to be that way, too. I don't have to be competitive at everything, but once you start keeping score on something, it's hard not to try your best to win. So, sometimes, we won't keep score. But, if we do, look out.

All right, keep sleeping and growing little one, we're getting ready for you....
love, aba

50

Hey there,
I am writing to tell you that I just turned 50 years old last week. Normally I don't make a big deal of my birthdays and really didn't want to on this one either. But, a few months ago your mom threw me a big suprise party. Since it was quite a while until my real birthday was going to happen, she really caught me by suprise and it turned out to be a lot of fun. I'm glad she did it, it shows how much she cares about me. I gave her a suprise party when she turned 40, but I didn't do a very good job of hiding it. She sort of knew it was going to happen, just not when. But the night we had her party, by the time she got home, she had it figured out.
But I didn't really want to write about parties, I wanted to write about age. Since I'm 50, I'm going to be a lot older than your friend's parents, most likely. Also, I will be 65 when you are 15, and by the time you graduate from high school I will be nearly 70. While I am 50, I don't feel like I'm fully grown up in some ways, so I don't think my age will be too much of a barrier in our relationship. I still remember being a kid. I plan to stay fit enough to take you on a cross country bike trip, a long backpacking trip, maybe a kayak float down the Yukon, nordic hut to hut skiing, and more. I think by the time you are able to do those things, I will still be able to do them.

Your mom and I want to have another child after you, so for your new brother or sister the age thing will be even greater. Your mom only has a few more years to be able to have another child, and she's a little weary of being pregant for most of the last two years so we will try for another pregnancy not long after you are born.

by the way, we checked your heartbeat today and last night. You were a little sleepy today, so your mom was worried and we listened to your heart again today. Last night you had a bit of a kick for us when we were checking it. Both times you were pumping along at about 140-145 per minute.

I guess I should tell you that there was a big event this past week. I told you I had been spending time on the phone convincing people to vote democratic. The election was a big success for us. Democrats took over the majority in both the house and the senate, against the predictions of some 'experts.' I felt great about my small part in making that happen. I really enjoyed talking to people all over the country: New Hampshire, New York, Pennsylvania, Florida, Indiana, Iowa, Minnesota, Missouri, New Mexico, Nevada, Washington, California. and Nevada.

Anyway, we are expecting you to be born in 49 days. It's exciting and scary at the same time. I'll write again soon.
Love, aba

Starfish Fable

Hi sister,
tonight I will begin with a fable. It is a very short fable but it explains something about me. It goes like this:
A grandpa and his granddaughter were walking along the beach. On the beach there were many starfish on the sand. The girl knew that if the starfish had been washed too high on to the beach, they would be left to dry on the next low tide and they would die. So, she was tossing the starfish into the water. Her grandpa said "silly girl, you'll never be able to save all those starfish." She picked up the next one and threw it with all her might toward the ocean and said "Well, I saved that one."
How does this apply to me? Well, I do some things that seem like they might not be having the effect that I want them to because they seem like very small gestures in terms of the big picture. Like, I will take every possible opportunity to not drive a car that I can. I will try to find a way to accoomplish the trip by walking or biking. That's because I feel that we need to do whatever we can to reduce our production of greenhouse gases and air pollution, and to conserve fossil fuels. These are things you will probably learn about later. Hopefully, by the time you learn about this the rest of the world will have taken part in this too, and the planet will have slowed it's pace of warming.
Another thing I've been doing lately has to do with politics. This you will learn about eventually, too. Here's what's going on. There will be a national election in about a week, and it is the most critical election that has happened since I've been alive. A congress that is dominated by Republicans for the last 12 years has been allowing our Republican president to get his way, and some of that has included invading countries that have done nothing to us, and taking away some of the rights granted to us in our constitution. If enough Democrats can get elected next week, the majority of the Congress will be Democratic and they can call for investigations of the Presidents actions, some of which might be illegal. What I've been doing is making a lot of phone calls to other parts of the country, encouraging people to vote Democratic. I'm calling other areas because where we live, most of the races are not going to be very close. In Oregon, we have 4 democratic congressmen, and they should win their elections easily. The lone Republican will probably win his race easily, too. So, I'm putting my energy where I think it can count the most. But, the point of the starfish story is that I know I can't save them all at once, but I will take being able to talk to one voter at a time.
There are a lot of times that it seems like what you are doing won't make much of a difference. However, it will make a difference to that one starfish, so the act is worth it. I remember another quote: "Brick by brick, my citizens, brick by brick." It means that you can't finish something that you don't start, and by taking the first step, you might lead others to follow you.
Ok, that might seem kind of boring, but it is a little of an explanation of why I do some of the things that I do.
Love, aba....

Fort Stevens

Hi little one,

Your mom says you have the hiccups again today. It makes her feel a little weird when that happens to you. They say that it’s a good thing, it means that your body is working on how it will breathe air when you are born, instead of the fluid that you are breathing now.

I wanted to tell you about the weekend we had a while back. It was before Homecoming week swamped me with work obligations so that I wasn’t able to write anything for you. Anyway, we had a three day weekend and we went to the coast. We were cashing in on a wedding gift we hadn’t used yet. We got a weekend in this really big house that used to be an officer’s quarters for Fort Stevens. It is near Astoria, in the community of Hammond. The house we stayed in used to be part of the fort, but isn’t anymore. It really isn’t a fort anymore, but sort of a museum. It was a strategic spot for a fort when navies were more important for security. The fort overlooked the mouth of the Columbia river, and had guns that could shoot at ships either in the river, or in the ocean to the west. Now it is a state park, there are camping spots, a small lake for swimming and fishing, and lots of bike paths. The house was huge, and we had two of my brothers and their families and your mom’s brother and his daughter staying with us, too. The house had five bedrooms and a loft, and could probably sleep about 20 people.

I can’t wait to bring you there when you are a little older. It will be really nice to be there in the summer. We can go on the beach and look at the old shipwreck that has been there 100 years, dig razor clams, swim in the lake, read books under the shade trees, ride our bikes on the trails, look for elk that feed in the park, and take walks and naps. I almost forgot, there are games to play, too. It will be fun.

I have a very fond memory of going to Fort Stevens park when I was a boy. I’ll never forget it, because it was when men first walked on the moon. I remember that vividly, walking through the campground and one of the campers had a television, and the astronauts were walking on the moon for the first time. There were 40 or 50 people gathered around their television watching this miricle. I also remember your uncle craig catching a big fish in the lake, just as we were about to quit fishing.

Well, with such a big family gathering, it was very nice and relaxing to stay there. This is the kind of thing your mother really enjoys organizing. As she says, her best qualitiy is the ability to bring people together. She did very well on this one, too.

The picture on this post shows the shipwreck of the Peter Iredale, and your brother’s sock.

Love, aba

Hey sis,
It's been awhile since I've written you anything. Sorry. We were away for the last few days, and I am approaching a really busy time at work. The upcoming week is homecoming. Since I am a Senior advisor, it means a lot of work for me. There are a lot of activities for the kids (students) that are fun, but have to be coordinated and supervised. But, I don't really want to write about that tonight.
Instead, I want to tell about something we did last weekend. We had a 'succos' dinner. There is a jewish holiday named 'Sukkot' and we had some people over to tell them about it. Your mom and our niece, Rachel, did a lot of decorating of the Sukkot, which is a sort of shelter that is outside the house. It is a celebration of the harvest, so the decorations are about vegetables and fruit. The pictures here show some of the decorations and your cousin Rachel after she had 'bobbed' for and apple in a tub of cold water.
I guess the main message of this post is that your mom is really awesome at throwing a party. Not that 'partying' is a big thing, but what she does is bring people together for good company. She has a real gift for that. We did something else this last weekend that was similarly arranged by your mom, and as usual, it turned out great and everyone had a good time.
Well, you've been poking your mom quite a bit lately, which is good. It means we know you are doing well.
That's all for now......
Love, aba.

Pedaling

Hi you,
your mom was a little worried about you today because you weren't kicking around too much. But you let her know you were there later in the day. Remember, we are watching you....
Tonight I will tell you something about me. I like to pedal. A bike that is. By the time you are old enough to read this, or even by the time you're old enough to have someone read this to you, you will probably have noticed this. I'll tell you about how I became such a pedaler another time. Tonight I will tell you about how it is effecting our weekend.
I feel strongly about doing my part, whatever I can to keep our planet cool. I'd like you to grow up in a world where the polar ice caps are still frozen, and sea levels are similar to what they are now. So, I pedal a bike to get places instead of driving whenever I can. Tomorrow I will ride my bike and pull a trailer to shop at Costco, which is around 20 miles away. It is the same trailer that you will ride in when you are big enough. It will take me most of the morning to make this shopping trip but it is worth it because it keeps me fit, the air clean, and uses no non renewable fuel.
I like riding bikes for fun, too. In the picture I am racing against other guys my age. I am second in the line in the picture and ended up getting 3rd place that day, which I was pretty proud of. Your mom is understanding of my desire to ride my bike a lot, she used to be a bike racer, too. Also, I am trying to ride 10,000 miles this year, and making the shopping trip by bike tomorrow will help me do that.
Today at school I was reading a book to my students. I was thinking about how much I enjoy reading to kids, and realized I can't wait to read to you. It will be a while before you will understand reading, but I am eager for that day to come. Waiting will give me a chance to think about what should be the first book that i read to you.
love, aba

Noah's Birthday

Hey sister,
tonight I am going to tell you about your brother's birthday. I want to bring this up because you will be participating in this rememberance in the future. This is what your mother and I did on Noah's first birthday, and his future birthday's will be similar.
First we dropped by your mother's work to say hello to her boss, Nancy. Nancy has been like a sister to your mom, and it was my idea to give her one of the rubber braclets with his name on it like the one I wear. Nancy has really been there for your mom while she has lived through this last tough year.
Next we went to the Sandy Library where there are two bricks we bought. One says Noah's name and his birthday and the other says "First Annual Noah's Quest." We left a flower and took a picture of your mom's foot next to the bricks with one of Noah's socks on.
Then we went into Gresham and stopped at the Learning Palace. There we bought a couple of gifts that we might have bought for your brother if he were still alive. We then took those gifts and donated them to Doernbecher's Children's Hospital.
We also stopped at the hospital where Noah was born. There we dropped off cards and Noah's socks for a couple of the nurses who were very kind to us when we were there with Noah. Dr. Wong, who delivered Noah, has an office nearby, so we stopped to give her some socks and a card, too. She was actually there so we got to thank her in person. She wished us well with the rest of your pregnancy.
Next we went to the cemetary to visit Noah. We even lit a candle and put it in a cupcake. We ddn't have the heart to sing Happy Birthday, though. We just couldn't be that cheery. You can tell that from the picture.
Finally we stopped at Smoky Hearth Pizza back in Sandy. Janene, the manager there has been very helpful to us. When Noah's Quest was in the news Janene laminated the clipping and put it on the counter where people stand to order their pizza. Behind the article she placed a jar for donations. In two months, she collected $800 in donations. Janene had interest in helping us because she lost her first child, Shannon, 16 years ago when she was 3 days old.
So, that's what we did on Noah's first birthday. In the future, you will be with us on his birthdays. I just wanted you to know what you will be in for.
We just checked on you a few minutes ago. We have a doppler device to check your heart rate. You were pounding along at about 145 beats a minute, which is about right for a girl your age.
Well, it's late and I better get to sleep so I can have some energy for teaching school in the morning.
love, aba

Yom Kippor

Hi daughter.
Your mom and I talked some more about your name tonight, but we didn't come to a conclusion. So, I can't really call you by any name yet.
I can tell you this, though. You are going to be a Jewish girl. Your mom is Jewish so that puts you in the club automatically. I'm not in that club, but you girls are. Anyway, tonight begins an important Jewish holiday, Yom Kippor. It is the day of atonement, when everyone atones for their sins. You'll learn more about it when you're older. I brought that up because I wanted to tell you about something that I did for you the other day. We were at a store called Massada, which has a lot of Jewish items from Israel, which is the holiest of places for Jews. Your mother is lot more interested in these things than I am, but I try to keep up and know why certain things are important to her. While there, I noticed a cute Messusa(sp?). It is a small thing that is placed on the door to keep the room inside holy. It was pink, and austere, so I thought it would be a good one for your room. Your mom agreed, and so it is there ready for you when you arrive.
Today I went to see my mom participate in the Portland Marathon. I think I told you about it. Anyway, the picture here is one I took of one of your brother's socks while I was there.
I might not write to you for the next couple days because I am going to be away from the house for a few days. I work a long way from here and sometimes I stay near my work to reduce the driving. But I'll be thinking about you.......
love, aba

Get Ready

Get Ready, cause here I come! (1970s hit by Rare Earth)
This is the first post of the blog, which will mainly be messages to my as yet unborn daughter, right now at about 26 weeks gestation in her mom's womb.
I'm calling your your blog sister sabra because we haven't yet agreed on a name for you. We've been trying out a few different names, but I won't say what the others are right now, but just say that Sabra is a leading candidate for what we will call you.
I think the first thing I have to tell you about is your brother Noah. He would have been a year old two days ago, but he died just before he was born. He was a beautiful boy, and had developed just right until just before he was born, and something went wrong and he died. We don't know exactly what happened and we never will. Your mother and I have been pretty sad about this since it happened. We've had some ups and downs this last year, but the last week, thinking about what we went through a year ago has been especially hard. In June, we staged an event called "Noah's Quest," which was a walk/run fundraiser for maternal/fetal research and support group called Breif Encounters. That made us feel like we were doing something for Noah, and for other parents like us who had lost children. All of the participants in the event got a pair of socks that said Noah's Quest on them. Since then, we've been taking pictures of the socks in various places to show that Noah's spirit has been there, too. So, he's been to the top of mt. Adams, Cape Kiwanda, the Race for the Cure, and Safeco Feild. This picture is from the top of mt. Adams.

On Noah's birthday, here's what we did. We made thank you cards for a few people who have helped us heal from this loss and took them to their places of work. We also bought some gifts that we might have bought for Noah if he were alive and gave them to a children's hospital. We visited the cemetary where he is buried and took another picture of his socks there. We also visited the Library where there are bricks with his name on them.
I had to tell you about this because it helps explain why we are nervous about your arrival. You are healthy so far and will be here soon, but we are still nervous because of what happened to your brother. Your mom was at the doctor yesterday and they took some pictures of you and you look wonderful. I am anxious to see you in person.
Tomorrow I am going to go see your grandmother while she is walking the Portland Marathon. She's almost 74 and I am really proud of her for doing the Marathon again. She's walked it several times, even though once she had a mild heart attack while doing it.
Well, that seems enough for now. Just remember, we're watching you.....
Love,
aba