Summer is Here!

Hi Sidra,

First let me tell you about our Father's Day. You and mom had gone shopping to get me something for Father's Day and after you were asking me some questions and telling me some things. You asked me if I liked beer. I wasn't sure how to answer that because at the moment I wasn't sure what motivated you to ask me that. So I gave an answer that I thought it was ok. I didn't want to say I LOVED beer and that it was a big part of my life. Then you went on to ask me about chocolate and I said I did love chocolate. As the conversation went on I realized what was going on and that my answers were probably good for you since you and mom had got me something chocolate. You may have considered beer but rejected that and settled on the chocolate. The chocolate was cute. It was a chocolate robot with a few 'lego' pieces that were candy also. They were actually colored chocolate. At least, they were sweet and the texture of chocolate but they didn't really taste much like chocolate.
The other part was about the card you got me. It was one of those cards that plays audio when you open it. You aren't very good at keeping a secret. But this time you didn't actually tell me everything ahead of time. I was able to surmise that you had got me a card that played music and that the song was 'Born to be Wild.' We actually sang it together several times before father's day arrived. I think I even googled it to make sure I was getting the lyrics right. On the morning of father's day I went out for a good long bike ride and planned to come in and sing my best version right away before you could hand me the card. That's more or less what happened. It turns out the card plays only the title phrase of the lyric so our version was much better by then anyway.
You've had some dance classes this month. The video shows a lot of the things that you did in the class. You are pretty good when you're paying attention. You were very excited each time about wearing your tutu and your dance shoes to class.
You also had swimming lessons the last two weeks. On your first day you were the only one in your class and it was in the shallow pool. You did everything the instructor asked you to. Afterwards, I asked her if you'd be better off in the big pool and she said yes. Well, the skills they are teaching in the big pool are right for you but you had a mental block about the deeper pool. There isn't anywhere in that pool that you can stand up and you had to hang on the side the whole time. The depth broke your confidence in your swimming ability. So you ended up freezing and asking to get out before class ended and asking earlier and earlier each day. So we wound up having you go back to the shallow pool for the last day. It was much better but you still got cold.
In the meantime you were swimming like a fish in the hot pool at Kahneetah and in our backyard pool which is ice cold. You can see that in the videos. Yes, you swam UNDER your mom and your sister in the Kahneetah pool.
You just had a visit from your east coast uncles last week. They were here for Noah's Quest. Ben is in one of the pictures, and David took two of the pictures.
You have been much more interested in and assertive about what you wear these days. You really like to wear dresses. You've been saying that you are pretty when you wear a dress. We tell you that it's not what you wear but what's inside you that makes you pretty or not. You've repeated that a few times but it will take a while to sink in. You got a new dress recently that is red, white and blue. You are going to wear it tomorrow(but not for the first time) for the 4th of July. Your sister got one, too.
Since I've been home more recently this next trait has faded slightly but you still do it. You will give a pretty good report about what's been going on while I've been gone as soon as I come in.
Even if it is not in your favor. Of course it takes some decoding because you speak it in the vernacular of a three and a half year old but most of the important points are there. For instance, you might say that you are not wearing a dress tomorrow because of some transgression or report on some other news. One morning I came in from my bike ride and you announced that you were ready for me to make the waffles I'd promised.
That's all for now. I'm sure there will be some more news soon. The Bike Derby is next week....

Love,
Aba

Role Models

Hi Sidra, I think this might be one of the most important postings I'll ever write. It will be some time before you're able to read it but I'll remember to make sure you do when you're old enough. This is about role models and who you should choose as your role models.
You're already making this choice unconsciously. At the moment your most important role models are your mom and I. You see, a role model is who you look to for ideas about how to behave. I know that one of your important role models is your mother because I hear you repeating things that she says to me. The other day it was about the grass clippings that end up on the sidewalk.
Some of your role models aren't the best choices. I've written here before about your recent obsessions with the Disney princesses. At the suggestion of one of the blog readers I bought you a copy of 'The Paper Bag Princess' as an opposing perspective. But as progressive political voices are overwhelmed by right wing talk on radio, the paper bag princess is far out numbered (9 to 1) by the Disney princesses. I know that you are guided by your exposure to them because you try to dress like them and tell me that you need to find a boy who can marry you. I know that in time your interest in the Disney girls will fade. You will simply grow out of this phase. Which movie character or celebrity will replace them? Later in life you may take interest in someone famous and let them influence your behavior and goals. It could be an actress, model, athlete or perhaps even a doctor or writer. People young and old often find inspiration in the activities of those who get attention from the entertainment media. I want you to know that you don't have to look that far for role models. You have many aunts, uncles, cousins, and close acquaintances whom you can look to for guidance. Whether you need inspiration in academics, athletics, spirituality, kindness, perseverance, work ethic, altruism, parenting (eventually) or career choices you will find someone in your extended family circle who exemplifies it.

In fact, I can direct your attention at two of your cousins. Two years ago your cousin Rachael was named the outstanding girl citizen out of a class of about 150 other girls. Just last month her sister Audrey was given the same honor. In my role as a senior class adviser at their school I had the honor of giving both girls their awards. What follows is what I said the night that I presented Audrey’s award.

It is always an honor to present the citizenship awards. Students who have earned these awards have done something in their school career to impress school staff. They might have impressed someone due to their service to others or by being just the most pleasant students to work with. Either way these students are likely to be confident but aren’t likely to have an inflated ego. I like to say this award is earned not because of what students see in them selves but because of what others see in them.

When she was a baby I used to call the girls citizenship winner the happy child. Either I always caught her on a good day or she has a sunny disposition. Earlier I said that students who win this award might have done so because of service to others or because of being very pleasant to work with. I think this girl has met both metrics. Classmates have elected her to student government and homecoming queen. She’s earned the approval of the staff on this vote. I’d just like to say that I hope my daughters grow into the kind of person their cousin is. By now her identity is no longer a secret. The 2010 outstanding female citizen is Audrey Mallon.

If you’ll allow me one more minute of family pride, I’d like Audrey’s parents, Terry and Ellen to stand. I just want to point out that they have raised two daughters, both have won the citizenship award in their senior year. They must be doing something right.

Since then, your uncle Terry and aunt Ellen, naturally, have expressed their modesty over my praise. But when I look ahead and think about what I would like you two sisters to be like when you are seniors in high school, I think that I would be intensely proud if you were even nominated for this kind of recognition, not to mention being chosen over 150 peers. As would any parent with kids the age you are now. In my mind the fact that both Rachael and Audrey both beat those long odds is proof that it was no accident.

Further, when I think about what kind of person you will be when you are graduating from high school, I would choose this way. Today, given the choice that you would be a valedictorian (in our school, hold a 4.0 gpa over four years) or be recognized for citizenship, I would choose citizenship hands down. It’s like this. The 4.0 student might be a driven, self absorbed system gamer, while the citizen is likely to be gracious, socially adept, and a fair player. The choice is easy.

I guess I should tell you that I reacted pretty emotionally these recent events. I was at a meeting with another senior adviser and other school officials when I learned that Audrey would be given the award. The others at the meeting would report that I received the news stoically and I suppose I did. I guess I wasn't surprised. I didn't vote because I knew she would be a contender and wanted to avoid any notion of favoritism. But that afternoon I spent most of my two hour bike ride thinking about what I would say when I presented the award. I later told your mom that I hadn't cried that much on a bike ride since your brother Noah died.

So, when you get older I'm hoping you'll recognize the real princesses and emulate them.

Love, Aba

Hi Sidra,

Well the school year is winding down for both of us. You will be done this week and I have about 3 more weeks. You will actually be going to a 'camp' at your school before my last day at school.

One thing you've been doing at school is learning some tumbling/gymnastics from your mom. She's been teaching all the kids at your school on Tuesdays. So last weekend was the school's open house. Your mom volunteered to have all the kids do a performance of the skills they have learned. You both did a great job. I was impressed by how well you stayed in line since your mom had reported that it was a problem for you when she was teaching. This didn't surprise me because I had been to a couple of her peewee sports classed that you were in. A couple times I had to take you home because you weren't listening to her. Anyway, you did well and I think your mom did well with the big classes of little kids. They were pretty well trained. For the performance, your mom also recruited your cousin Rachel to help keep kids in line. So the video shows you in your best moments. Your best move was the 'scissors' on the trampoline.

You've also developed a habit of giving me a report of the news of the day when I get home. It's interesting and would probably be difficult to follow for a stranger. Sometimes I have to depend on what I've heard from your mom on the phone to really decipher the story. It's kind of funny too that you will report on things you got in trouble for while I was gone. That might be something that fades from the report when you get older. Anyway, it's fun to listen to.

I've posted some of the pictures here from our sitting in the photographer's studio. You were a really good helper and the one that was able to get your sister to smile most of the time.
We get to go to Kahneetah next weekend and enjoy warm water even if the weather is cold.

Love, Aba

Getting to Know the Princesses

Hi Sidra,

You've been spending a lot of time listening to stories, watching movies, and playing with some of the Disney princesses. You've become quite enamored of them and a bit of an expert on their various stories. At least, I think you know more than I do about them. I learned that there are 9
Disney princesses and I can't name but a few although I do know that your favorite is Ariel the little Mermaid. I can't really say why you like her better than the others but I felt mildly positive about her today at the pool when you said you were going to swim and dive "like Ariel."

Your most prevalent use of "princess culture" is in your desire to get married or have certain dolls get married. You asked me to marry you, asked me to marry a new Barbie doll you're calling 'Belle,' and are generally talking about marriage quite a bit. It should be noted that you clearly haven't the slightest clue about what getting married means.

The way I counter this is to tell you bedtime stories with a theme that competes with the princess stories. I'll tell you a story in which you actually meet one of the princesses and they tell you that they are tired of waiting around the palace for a prince to show up. So they tell you that they've decided to quit waiting and go out to have adventures and then write books about them. Or that they have found a fulfilling life as a teacher, or a nurse, or a doctor, or an artist, or anything but a princess. I don't think it will surprise anyone when I say that you don't particularly like my versions of the stories. When I finish you will say 'but I want to be a princess.' I'll sigh and reply 'I know.'

You had a great time when we went to the Wooden Shoe Tulip farm a couple of weeks ago. You wore your tutu and climbed all over the haystack, rode the 'cow train,' pumped water for the ducky races and slid down the bouncy slide.

You've learned on your own to do a seat drop and make it back to your feet on your trampoline. In the video you are in your newest tutu, an orange one. You are a pretty good sport about entertaining your little sister, which for you is pretty easy. She doesn't miss much when you're in the vicinity.

Love Aba.

Leaving Your Mark

Hi Sidra,

You got some new clothes the other day and wanted to show them off. So we had a little photo shoot/dance session. A few posts ago I wrote about a move that you do that shows your exuberance and your age. I said I knew it was something you would grow out of and that I enjoyed seeing you do it because it meant you're still a little kid. Well, in our dance session I got you to pose it for me and here it is. I won't bother with a description of your outfit, my fashion acumen isn't up to it. I included a photo of you playing with your sister in her first ride in the bouncer swing.

You wore the same outfit today to a family event so the west coaster family got to see you in it and see some of your moves. They also got to hear you say you were wearing a 'tutu.'

Sometime ago you and your mom made a plaster handprint and footprint with your name on it. Recently someone brought your mom an advertising flyer with a picture of your prints on it. So lots of people are seeing your prints as an example of how nice theirs could look.

You did a cute thing this morning. You came in my office after you got up carrying a doll that has a little bottle for 'feeding' it and also a pacifier. You were talking about feeding it and giving it it's binky. Then you said that 'my mom pumped some milk for her.' I got a kick out of that.

Love,
Aba

Spring Break??

Hi Sidra,

I'm on vacation this week and we're trying to enjoy 'spring break' as much as we can. We are slowed a little by having two of you now and mom only has a couple of days that she's not working. In Oregon spring break isn't always (or often!) fun in the warm sun. We did have a really nice day today and yesterday was pretty good, too. Since it was nice today we decided to take advantage of our Zoo membership. The only problem with that was that everyone else had the same idea and they had more urgency about it so by the time we got to the Zoo there was no parking anywhere and at least 150 other families hoping there would be a vacancy soon. We ended up going to a park we hadn't been to near troutdale.

It was an interesting time at the playground. Shortly after we arrived you ran into some school chums. Nate and Noah, twins who go to your school. It seemed like they recognized you right off but you weren't too sure about them at first. Then they nearly demanded that you tag along with them. They were competing for your attention but not in a divisive way. It was probably good that they were twins because as a 'not the oldest' sibling I know how the older kid can dominate the play. It happened to me and I'm sure you will do it to your little sister. It's just the way pecking orders work. But these two boys were really good at sharing the lead. Both were able to give in to the wishes of the other in almost equal measure. They were older and quicker than you and I think that's the reason you mostly allowed them to dictate the play. You chose your own distractions a few times and more so as time passed. I was able to catch the three of you in the picture frame just once with any quality and it's interesting that you are between them. I only could tell them apart by their different colored shirts as they even chose to wear their caps the same way, pulled down over the eyes.

We had some tough times the last couple of nights at bedtime. You are pretty adamant about not liking being alone at bedtime. This has become a more acute problem since your sister arrived but I think I have finally figured out how to deal with it. After I read you a few books I turn out the light and turn on your bedtime music. Then I read my book and wait for you to fall asleep. You'd gotten in the habit of crawling all over me and flipping and flopping and stalling and not lying still to go to sleep. Well, I made good on my promise of leaving if you didn't comply a couple of times. You didn't like it but I think we're making progress. I can just see how good of a negotiator and arguer you're going to be in about 10 years. I'm going to need to up my game.

We were lucky to catch you and Shira in almost the same pose being enchanted by the Pooh chair at different times.

We were at Kahneetah the last couple of days. Your swimming bravery and skill had been regressing. So we were worried that we would get all the way over there and you would not really enjoy it. The weather wasn't very good so that looked like it might put a damper on things. We were worried that you wouldn't want to go down the slide. Well the warm water pool apparently worked it's magic on you. On a cloudy 50 degree afternoon in a stiff breeze you walked right over to the slide and went in without even testing the water. So our fears were completely unfounded. You had your head under water as much as it was out and you began to understand how arm strokes and kicks can help propel you through the water.

The video is of our trip to a play place called Kids Club a few days ago. Your favorite thing was the small slide which I rode with you several times. But you only went down the yellow slide. OK, you went down the red once and the green once but the other 40 times you chose yellow even if you had to wait a significant time to get on it. I guess that's what I might have done when I was a kid. I would keep at something I knew and was comfortable with before branching out to something else, even if it were just a different color. A few times you hesitated at the top of the slide before going down. I worried at first that it might be because of who was there. There were some kids of color there and you're not used to seeing them. I wondered if that was it but realized it was something else when you would stall when there was no one there with you. It turns out that there was a ball transport system that was making noise right above the slide launch pad and you didn't like the noise. In any case you can tell from the video that you liked the slide.



love, aba

Catching Up

Hi Sidra,

I haven't written here for a while. You've been struggling to adjust to having a little sister around the house. It isn't anything obvious but more subtle differences in your behavior. It seems clear that you are seeking attention in different ways than before. You seem to be operating on the notion that negative attention is as satisfying as positive attention. I don't think you are trying to be devious in any way but you are trying some different things that try our patience.

I have to report one cute thing you did at the swimming pool a few weeks ago. There was a little boy about your age, maybe a little younger there. You were both staying pretty close to the stairs where you are tall enough to stand on your own. Actually, the other boy never went past the second step to the frustration of his grandmother. You asked him what his name was and he replied. I wasn't close enough to hear what he said. I asked you later if you knew what he said and you didn't, either. But you said, "I'm Sidra. S-I-D-R-A" I don't know what caused you to spell it out but it was really cute to hear you do that.

You've been having play dates with your friend Logan. You seem to get along really well with him. I haven't been present for one yet but both parents report that you play hard for 2 solid hours when your together and usually stay out of trouble. I guess it's good for you that he likes 'dress up.'

More later.......

love, aba.

The Spelling trick

Hi Sidra,

In the last post there was a video showing you apparently spelling some words like owl, van, and toast. You were definitely pushing the right buttons on your toy. I'm not sure you were really spelling. I showed you how you could push the right buttons. The toy you were using only asks you to spell words that are on the toy. Near each of the buttons on the toy is a word beginning with that letter. So, next to E is ear. The only words that you are asked to spell are the ones that are on the toy. I showed you that if you knew the letter the word starts with then all you needed to do was look at the word on the toy to find the other letters.
You can see in the video how you are looking near the T button to complete the spelling of toast. Even though you have that hint going for you I am still impressed that you can use that strategy.

Love, aba

Are you Spelling?

Hi Sidra,

well you can look at this video and wonder if you are really spelling just a week after your third birthday. In the next post I will tell the rest of the story. You are playing with a cool toy you got from your Uncle Ben.


We went swimming today and you did some new things. You were not as prolific with your attempts at real swimming but you did climb out of the pool on your own. Not just walking up the stairs or the ladder but going to the side of the pool and lifting yourself out. You didn't even need to be on the stairs. You were in water that was way to deep for you to touch bottom. Your natural instincts about things like that amaze me. I didn't show you anything about how to do it, you simply did it pretty much the way I would have taught you.
The other thing you did was ride your 'noodle' (it's a foam floaty thing) like a horse. I don't see how you can balance on it but you do it beautifully. I try it and it seems really hard to stay upright. You make it look easy. The fact that I weight about 6 times as much as you may have something to do with it.
At school this week the 'sharing' sound was S and you took a thing from one of your puzzles. It was a sun, and you did know how to spell it. We dropped off an orange and a shoe box at school. You will be using the orange to squeeze orange juice and the shoebox is for a mailbox for valentines day.
Ok, in the next post I will share the spelling secrets.

Love, aba

Back to Reality

Hi Sidra,
you've been recovering from about a month of hedonist living that you may not ever be able to match. You were smothered with gifts and attention day after day.

First there was 8 days of Channuka with gifts each day. Then family arrived and you suddenly had the attention of five more adult visitors. You earned your share of the limelight in spite of the presence of your new baby sister. Then there was your third birthday party. It was a 'Curious George' party. That's a copy of of the invitations in one of the pictures. There's also a picture of you giving one of your party guests a 'goody bag' to thank them for coming. It's one of your classmates Esa, which is short for Isabella. And we can't forget your trip to the mall. You returned from that with some booty as well.

Without a doubt your favorite visitor and playmate was uncle Ben. Countless times you called for him "uncle Ben, can you come upstairs?" Countless times he answered the call and countless times you two 'washed the puppies' in your room. We tried to suggest to him ways of diverting you to other activities but he remained unselfish with his time. You'll have to thank him for his patience when you're old enough to understand what that means.

It's all over now. You're back to a more regular routine with school tomorrow.

I was just thinking last night that I will be sad when you are grown up enough to give up one of your cute habits. You always show excitement by bouncing around the room while bubbling about what is exciting you. And you always do this thing where you lean against some piece of furniture and stick your foot up in the air behind you. It's one of those things that is really hard to catch in a photo or a video in it's true unrehearsed form. It's one of those things that has to be witnessed first hand, like a really good sunset or a moonshadow. When you stop doing it it will mean you've lost some of your 'little girl' and I will feel some sadness over that.

And finally, your stats at your 3rd birthday: 37½ inches tall, 31 pounds, head circumference 51 cm.

Love, aba

Penmanship

Hi Sidra,

I didn't know when I got up this morning that I could comment on your penmanship. I didn't know you could do much writing other than a circle. You must be getting some practice at school. And obviously you are getting better with your fine motor skills.

This morning I was writing a list and you wanted to take part. I decided to give you a chance to do your own writing instead of trying to share my list with you. Actually I got the idea for this activity by reading with you from your magazine "Highlights." There is a story about a girl who writes to a relative and it's mostly scribbles and loops although she tries to make an 'M ' because her name begins with M. So I wondered if you would be able to do that. I thought I might give you some help by providing a trace of the letter. By George, you did it on the first try and did well with several more attempts. I was "blown away" to quote your uncle Ben. You can see your first three 'Ss" here. You did about 10 for me altogether.

I also wanted to thank you for dancing with me. It was a couple weeks ago and we were listening to the modern version of Oh Hannuka by Aaron Baron Cohen. I really like the song and you were a great dance partner. We did a little mini hora together. It was cool for me because I've always been a pretty self conscious dancer. You had no preconceptions of what good dancing was so you were just happy to have a partner. Your mom probably would have joined us but was busy in the kitchen. I just wanted to write about it so I would remember to talk with you about it when you're older.
The song plays on the video here.

Love, Aba

Channuka 5770 (2009)

hi sidra,

we are in the middle of channuka 5770 and I wanted to share some things with you about it.
Mostly about your great ability to receive gifts. It is really easy to get gifts and you are developing quite the appetite for it. I hope that you will mature into a good gift giver as well.

The video doesn't have a very good picture quality but you will see yourself opening a gift that is not a toy and quickly tossing it aside. I guess that's not uncommon for a kid your age. On the other hand, you did do something pretty cool with a gift you got from tante Debbie. It was a book. Even in the frenzy of gift opening, you paused to hop on the couch and quickly look through it. Your mother and I were both pretty surprised and pleased by that. A fun detail about the book is that the main character is named Cary, just like me. Although she is a girl.

You've also been receiving a really cool magazine. It's called National Geographic for Kids. You are seen reading it while sitting on the toilet in one of the pictures here. It has some pretty cool stuff in it and you surprised us the other night by recalling something that was in it. Jeopardy was on TV and one of the contestants answered 'Botswana.' You repeated it and said it was in your magazine. Then you picked up the magazine and showed us the reference. Neither of us remembered that part of the magazine although we'd both read it to you.

In the video I took the liberty of dubbing in one of my favorite rock 'n' roll guitar solos over what your guitar was playing. I preferred the Golden Earring riff to Britney Spears. If you listened carefully you can still be heard saying "Look at me, Jen" and "It's like a real guitar!"

Happy Channuka,

Love, Aba.

Shabodja

Hi Sidra,

I wanted you to know about Shabodja. Actually, you already know about her but may need to be reminded later in your life who she was. She's one of your dolls and I am only guessing at this phonetic spelling of her name because you named her and I don't think you can spell yet. If I asked you now to spell it I don't think you could do it. I think you know how to spell your name but not this one.
The name is part of her mystery. We have no idea how you came up with this name. As far as we know it isn't a name of someone you've met or a fictional character that you know. Maybe later when you can articulate your thoughts a little better you will be able to remember how you decided on this name.
You have done a lot of things with Shabodja. You like to take her with you and have her watch you do things. This picture was taken as a recreation of something you did the other night. You were getting ready for bed and Shabodja was going to join you. But you had also been looking at an evil (my editorial opinion) book called 'Bridesmaid's Diary.' It is about a young girl and her older sister who is getting married and the younger sister is asked to be a bridesmaid. Anyway it's a pop up book (indoctrinating the pre school girls that one of their aspirations should be matrimony) and has some other removable parts. One of them was the pendant that Shabodja has in her hand in the photo. It represents the necklace that was given to the younger sister by the older sister in the story. For some reason you thought Shabodja should have it.
I just wanted you to know that you have a pretty creative mind sometimes and we have a tough time figuring out the influences.
Love,
aba

Best and Worst

Hi Sidra,

There are many reasons why I love you but I just wanted to tell you about couple things that really made me glad I was your dad. And one that will not be such a fond memory.

A couple of days ago I was making beds upstairs and your mom suggested to you that you could go upstairs and 'help' me. Quotations are there because help from a not yet three year old is elusive at best. So you did well when I asked you to bring me things from the laundry basket into the bedroom. Later, when I was trying to flap the top sheet so it would fall straight on the bed you decided it would be fun to climb on the bed and get under the flapping sheet. Which made it impossible to get the sheet on straight. I asked you to get out of the way but you were having too good a time to come out from under there. So, I chose to leave the room and go work on your bed instead. You wanted to participate in that event, too. But you weren't really a distraction there and I got that job done. I then tried again to finish our bed but you had the same idea of fun under the sheet. I thought of some way that I could continue with my chores and not waste any more time waiting for you to let me finish the bed, so I left the room again. I was in my room a few minutes later and you came in and said "I'm sorry."
That made a big impression on me for a couple of reasons. First, it showed that you were empathetic to others needs or interests. I loved that. Second, it showed you understood unspoken messages. That was really cool!
On the other hand, you are sleeping off an unpleasant meltdown from earlier in the afternoon. We were out in the neighborhood as it is an unseasonably nice day. I was carrying your sister in the 'baby bjorn.' You were riding your bike. You wanted to go down to where we've picked blackberries before. I warned you that it was a long way and that there wasn't going to be any edible berries there now like there were in the summer. After we turned around to come home you wanted me to carry the bike home while you walked. Nothing doing, I said. We'd had discussions about this in the summer and I always said if you ride your bike somewhere, you had to ride it home, too. Anyway, we disagreed but you walked away from your bike leaving me to carry it home and your sister, too. I held your hand and you wailed all the way home. I guess part of it is that you need to realize that you're becoming a big girl and may need to forgo some 'mommying' or 'daddying' and stand on your own two feet at times.

So that I don't finish on a negative note here's something else you did that 'blew me away' to use your uncle Ben's phrase. We had the TV on and were watching womens figure skating. We were urging you to watch how good the skaters were. You said 'when I'm her age I want to do that.' I liked that on two fronts. One that you were inspired to try to do these amazing things on skates and secondly that you were able to articulate your wish.

Love, aba

Sisterhood

Hi Sidra,

Your little sister is home now. You met her yesterday. I took you to the hospital with me when I went to bring Shira and your mom home. You ran over to see her as soon as you saw us coming and sort of ignored your mom, who you hadn't seen in a few days. You've been doing pretty good for the day that you've been an official big sister. You are like Curious George, always willing to help out even if you aren't asked and sometimes get a little too exuberant.

If you do the things that you have talked about doing in the future Shira will be very lucky to have you as her big sister. You've said that you will hold her hand, help change her diaper, share your toys, give her a binky when she needs it, hold her and some other things. Some of the things you want to do for her are a ways down the road but that's okay. As long as you keep your word. I was just interupted in writing this because I was helping you get the binky for Shira. You were pretty good in being gentle with her.

You also are developing into a relentless child consumer. There was a Toy's R US insert in the Sunday paper, I think. Anyway, you got a hold of it and began checking out the toys, followed obsessing about a Barbie veterinarian kit. It would help you sort of reenact an event that occurs in a Curious George story. You believe that you can get it for one of the upcoming holidays but don't seem willing to wait. It's quite amazing the story you can tell about what you can do with these toys.

I'm sure there will be more soon.

Love, aba

You're a Big Sister.

Hi Sidra,

you became a big sister today as your little sister Shira was born. You didn't get to see her yet, except in pictures and videos I brought home. You spent the day with Nancypants and your cousin Rachel and aunt Deb Cohen. When I finally got home you were in pretty good spirits and well fed. We sat down and watched a video of your mom nursing baby Shira and she told you she missed you and that you should get to bed early so you could get up to go to school tomorrow.
The hospital won't allow you to come to visit your mom and sister because of precautions related to the swine flu. You are asleep now, but we expect that you will be up and come into bed with me sometime during the night. We know that in your drowsiness you will ask for your mommy and she won't be there. That's why I came home to spend the night with you instead of Tante Debbie. So that one of your parents will be here.
I was pleased with your interest in the pictures of your mom and sister. I think you have some big adjustments ahead but you are going to be a good sister and I'm already proud of you because of it. Of course, when the family is all home things may be different than I expect.

Love,
aba

Happy Halloween

Hi Sidra,

You got a little more serious about Halloween this year. You had a cool ladybug costume that your mom bought you and you anticipated the event for quite a while. In fact, you had a streak of several days in a row where you asked me if I would dress up like a cheerleader to go trick or treat with you. That was because I had played the part of a cheerleader in my schools annual lip synching contest. I had to tell you several times that I couldn't because I had to return the costume. I suggested that I could probably dress as a rock star with some of the things I had left from the year before. So then your question became 'will you be a star?' It's hard to turn that request down so that's what you see in the pictures. We're even getting the thumbs up from uncle Aaron.
You've been challenging us lately by being pretty stubborn. You don't really want to comply with our requests so you sort of act like you aren't hearing us or even say outright that you don't want to do something. We are working letting you know what our limits are. One clever way you have learned to negotiate is with the phrase, 'but not right now.' Unfortunately for you sometimes we have to counter that with a 'yes, right now.'
I am interested to know what I'm going to write about you in the next post because your little sister is going to be born tomorrow and your life will change a lot. We believe you will be a good big sister eventually, but are expecting some rough spots for you in the coming weeks. I hope it's not too rough. I expect you and I are going to spend a lot of time together in the near future because neither one of us will be able to feed your sister for a while, only your mom will be able to and you and I are going to need to give your mom and your sister some space to do that.

more soon,

love, aba

The Pumpkin Patch

Hi Sidra,

You had a couple of big events this weekend. We went to the pumpkin patch in nearby Boring to get a couple of pumpkins and have some fun. Besides picking out some pumpkins, you played in the 'corn box' which is like a sandbox but filled with corn kernels and has bones hidden in the corn. You also rode the small carousel, went through the small but uncovered maze, and the 'tunnel maze.' I went with you in the tunnel maze and we took our flashlights as we knew about this from our visit last year. Mom couldn't come along in her very pregnant condition. We decided that after going to the enchanted forest a couple of months ago when we felt pretty claustriphobic in one dark passage. So you and I went in alone and that's how we got the picture of you holding your flashlight inside the maze. I know it doesn't look the same in a flash picture, but we were really pretty deep in the maze when I took the picture. Last year we would have been stuck in the maze without the help of two nice girls using a cell phone for light. Maybe next year we won't cheat and take our flashlights.
Another thing you did was take a pony ride. This pony was quite a bit shorter than Becky's tall horse and you weren't the least bit afraid of riding it. In the picture you can see the big field full of pumpkins behind you.
Then we finally went out in the patch and picked a couple of pumpkins. I picked a great big one, you got a tiny one and mom got a medium sized one. You even had your own wheelbarrow to bring your pumpkin in to the scales to be weighed. Not only that, but you gave the woman your dollar for your pumpkin yourself. It might have been your first transaction.

The weekend before that was pretty rough at our house. You and your mother were both pretty sick and we also lost a member of the family. Our dog Jessie is no longer with us. He had been very sick, too. We didn't know how sick until he was unable to get up on his own and the veternarian told us what he'd found. He was especially good (patient) with you and his absence has left an empty space in our lives. We've tried to explain his story to you, but we don't think you understand it yet.

The other thing you did this weekend was attend a birthday party for a friend from school. It was actually the school director's daughter who turned 3. You got to pull on the Pinata, go on a hike, and be entertained by a clown. The clown even painted your face. You got lots of treats and small toys, too. You had a good time and had lots of candy. It gave us some ideas about what we might do for your birthday party.

Love, Aba

Off to School

Hi Sidra,

You had your first days of preschool this past week. The first day was a little emotional for your mom. You seem to love it and that doesn't surprise me because you're naturally pretty curious and enjoy being part of a group. Your mom took pictures of you in front of your cubby and the first day you stood in front of your name, but the name that showed was the same as your brother.


You are not yet a full member of the potty trained crowd although you are making pretty good progress. We've had trouble getting you to tell us when you need to go. I guess what happened at school is a good thing. You apparently needed to go and began taking your clothes off in the classroom! I guess we should be happy that you are now giving some signal that it's time for you to go and we just need to work on the signal.

Today you got to dance with Smoky Bear. We went to the Festival of the Forest at a nearby park. There were some fun things there for kids to learn about the forest. You got to go inside a large blow up fish and hear a story about the life cycle of salmon and do some water color imprints of leaves. There was also a band playing and you got to shake it up a little with Smoky Bear.

Yesterday you and I took one more trip to the outdoor pool at the sports club. The water on the slides was not turned on but other kids were going down and you went a couple of times, too. But the amazing thing was how much better you swam. You were totally comfortable in floating face down in the water and were getting the hang of stroking with your arms. So, I could give you a little push and you could make it from about 15 feet out all the way to the stairs where you could stand up. You are still limited to how far you can make it one breath, though. That's ok, I was really impressed at how well you did in spite of not having practiced in a while. Besides, probably the best part was when you paused a couple times to say 'I love you.'

until next time,
Love, aba

The End of Summer

Hi Sidra,

Well you and i have had a terrific summer. I want to thank you for that. We will have other summers, of course, but it will be hard to beat the experiences we had this year. It's been a gas showing you new stuff and watching you change by the day. Our nearly nightly bike rides are going to be missed.

You know in the last post I said that you and your mom charmed the ship's captain into letting you take the wheel of the ship. In that case your mom definitely helped you out. However, even that afternoon as we meandered through Saturday Market I watched with interest how people are charmed by you. I've seen it in many different situations. I raise the issue because I hope that it is a quality that you use for good and not selfishly. I can see that you will be able to steer people into doing things that you want them to do. I just hope that you will use that power judiciously and not manipulate others too much. I guess it will be up to us as parents to help you use your influence in the right way.

Another feeling that I have as the summer comes to a close is that it is all passing by so quickly. Right now I feel like I'm at the controls of the Millennium Falcon as it pauses slightly before hitting lightspeed and making everything a blur. When I return to school this week all our time together will be compressed and we won't have much time to savor anything until next summer. I will have some time off when your new sister arrives but then of course it will be different.

I thought I would share with you some of the expressions you are using now as your language skill improves constantly. You used to say 'hold you' all the time and now you are saying 'can you hold me?' instead. You are also saying 'what should we do?' quite frequently now. Another favorite is 'will you play a game with me?' and your favorite game is The Ladybug Game. When you are hungry you say 'I want something' and we're supposed to know that it means you want something to eat. But you have also learned to say nicely 'please may I have __' although you use it sporadically. 'What did you do?' is another frequent question.

The two pictures here are you in the bumper boats at the Enchanted Forest and you being pushed on the swing by Cooper.

I notice that I've been posting like crazy this month compared to any other time. I hope it won't be another month before I make another post. You are starting your pre school in a about a week and I will surely want to report on that.

Love, Aba